I have never been much of a dancer. Sure I like to "groove", but my rhythm? Errr... not so good.
Lately, however, I have found myself moving to music. Although probably seen as an eye sore as I dance in the car, bathroom, kitchen, etc., I have developed an "I don't care" attitude. Not the typical huge ego type of not caring, but more of the "Hey, you can laugh at me but I'm enjoying myself" kind of I don't care. And yes, this also applies to my PDS (public displays of singing).
The feeling you get when no one is watching (or so you hope) is the most liberating experience. Not only because it's genuinely you, but because it's dictated by none other than what you want to do in that moment. There's no right or wrong. No sequence of moves you have to master. It's just you.
Life isn't a choreographed dance.
On graduation day, as I walked across the stage, reached out my hand, and accepted the empty diploma case (climactic I know, they mail us our diplomas) I couldn't have been more proud of myself. My cheeks hurt from smiling so big. Everyone told me after my surgery that I wouldn't be able to graduate on time. I was told numerous times to push back graduation and start again in the fall. That wasn't an option for me. It didn't fit my scheduled timeline (i.e. Graduate high school at 17 yrs old, graduate college in 4 years at 21 yrs old. Get a job. Get married at 23 yrs. old. Live happily ever after. Then retire at 55 yrs old. (Dreamin' big!))
Every day I have lived my life doing as I was told, when I was told to do so. Every tiny detail has been planned and thought out carefully to make sure it was the best option. Growing up, we are woken up for school at the same time every day. We ate lunch with our lunch friends. Same time. Same place. In college, classes were scheduled to start and end at the same time, on the same days. Work? Scheduled. Even our bodily functions are scheduled (give or take).
Graduation? Goodbye schedule, hello scary.
It's been almost a week since I've graduated. It wasn't until today that reality....the TRUE reality, not just what society thinks, hit me between the eyes.
Life isn't a choreographed dance.
There won't always be a schedule.
There won't always be someone telling you what to do or where to be.
Your life is about you.
Now that I understand my life can and will go any which way it is supposed to go, my idea of a "schedule" is gone. I'm learning to live again. Freely. This may sound "hippie-ish" but that's only because it sort of is. The world is caught up in the "9 to 5 structured life" as days keep passing by quicker than ever. The idea of living for yourself, freely and openly, begins to sound silly.
I promise you it's not.
Once you let go of the idea of perfection and planning out every little detail, the colors of life become much more beautiful.
Try it sometime.
Ditch that choreographed, predictable, scheduled life.
Just live.
Learn who you are again.
Fall in love with yourself.
Free your spirit.
Because at the end of the day, it's your one and only life.
Choose it wisely.
Peace&love
Lately, however, I have found myself moving to music. Although probably seen as an eye sore as I dance in the car, bathroom, kitchen, etc., I have developed an "I don't care" attitude. Not the typical huge ego type of not caring, but more of the "Hey, you can laugh at me but I'm enjoying myself" kind of I don't care. And yes, this also applies to my PDS (public displays of singing).
The feeling you get when no one is watching (or so you hope) is the most liberating experience. Not only because it's genuinely you, but because it's dictated by none other than what you want to do in that moment. There's no right or wrong. No sequence of moves you have to master. It's just you.
Life isn't a choreographed dance.
On graduation day, as I walked across the stage, reached out my hand, and accepted the empty diploma case (climactic I know, they mail us our diplomas) I couldn't have been more proud of myself. My cheeks hurt from smiling so big. Everyone told me after my surgery that I wouldn't be able to graduate on time. I was told numerous times to push back graduation and start again in the fall. That wasn't an option for me. It didn't fit my scheduled timeline (i.e. Graduate high school at 17 yrs old, graduate college in 4 years at 21 yrs old. Get a job. Get married at 23 yrs. old. Live happily ever after. Then retire at 55 yrs old. (Dreamin' big!))
Five hours after snatching up my diploma, I cried.
*smacks self across the face* WAKE UP!
Are you joking?!
Amy. You're too emotional. You got a piece of paper saying you survived college. Stop.
Flashbacks of my "scheduled years" invaded my brain. Followed by questions:
Where's my schedule now? My security blanket to know what I should be doing every day? Where is my life going? How am I going to get there? Job?? Grad school?? Really?!
The list goes on.
Every day I have lived my life doing as I was told, when I was told to do so. Every tiny detail has been planned and thought out carefully to make sure it was the best option. Growing up, we are woken up for school at the same time every day. We ate lunch with our lunch friends. Same time. Same place. In college, classes were scheduled to start and end at the same time, on the same days. Work? Scheduled. Even our bodily functions are scheduled (give or take).
Graduation? Goodbye schedule, hello scary.
It's been almost a week since I've graduated. It wasn't until today that reality....the TRUE reality, not just what society thinks, hit me between the eyes.
Life isn't a choreographed dance.
There won't always be a schedule.
There won't always be someone telling you what to do or where to be.
Your life is about you.
Now that I understand my life can and will go any which way it is supposed to go, my idea of a "schedule" is gone. I'm learning to live again. Freely. This may sound "hippie-ish" but that's only because it sort of is. The world is caught up in the "9 to 5 structured life" as days keep passing by quicker than ever. The idea of living for yourself, freely and openly, begins to sound silly.
I promise you it's not.
Once you let go of the idea of perfection and planning out every little detail, the colors of life become much more beautiful.
Try it sometime.
Ditch that choreographed, predictable, scheduled life.
Just live.
Learn who you are again.
Fall in love with yourself.
Free your spirit.
Because at the end of the day, it's your one and only life.
Choose it wisely.
Peace&love
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